Recently, people in our
community have started becoming more aware of the issue of sexual abuse in
schools. While this is very important, it is also important to know that most sexual abuse comes from a family member (such as a cousin or
uncle), or a family friend or acquaintance, (such as a neighbor or a
classmate’s father).
Because
sexual abuse is a crime
of manipulation and
intimacy, the “Stranger Dangers” we teach our children don’t apply. Pedophiles
know their victims. Slowly and methodically, over time, they develop the
child’s trust, and the parents’ trust too.
This process is called “grooming” the victim, and creates a relationship where the child is more likely to comply with the abuse. And when the opportunity arises, such as when the pedophile is alone with the child, he doesn't hesitate.
It is deeply disturbing to think about anyone we know in this light, and easier not to think about the issue of sexual abuse at all. Unfortunately, it is a reality, and we must be aware in order to keep our children safe.
It is impossible to prevent all abuse, but the following is a list of common warning signs: -
- Someone insists
on hugging, kissing, tickling, or wrestling with your child, especially if
your child isn't enjoying it.
- Someone wants to
spend time alone with your child.
- Someone finds
excuses to be alone with your child, such as offering to babysit or to
give your child a ride.
- Someone
regularly buys your child gifts, or gives them money for no reason.
- Someone wants to
take your child special places, particularly overnight.
- Someone favors
one of your children over the others and singles them out for special
gifts or time together.
- Someone is
scheduled to spend time with or care for your child, and your child
protests or is anxious about it.
- Someone seems
more interested in spending time with children than adults.
- Someone allows
your child to get away with inappropriate or “adult” activities.
This
information announcement is not meant to be alarmist. A person doing something
from this list once does not mean that person is a child abuser. If someone
does things from this list repeatedly, or
their manner with your child makes
you uncomfortable in any
way, you
should speak to your child about it and not allow them to spend time alone with
the person.
By Miriam Friedman, MSW
No comments:
Post a Comment